I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
