his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
