Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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