It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
