Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just google imaged poop.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
