i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
