She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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