Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
