yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
