I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
