I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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