Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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