I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
