Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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