Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
