I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
