I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so let's talk penis.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
