I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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