I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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