that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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