yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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