thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
