Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
