How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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