i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
