addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
