if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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