Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
ok first of all what the fuck
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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