i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
