I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
