We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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