but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize