So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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