Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You are a genius and a whore.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
