Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
