Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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