he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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