Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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