I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
