Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
