is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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