Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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