Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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