just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
