the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
