When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
