i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You smell like stripper and shame
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just invented taco cereal.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Are we still banned from the library?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
