There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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