This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
