I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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