she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
