Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
