Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
