There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
