fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
