she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
