She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
