Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize