Rock
Scissors
Fuck
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
