He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize