was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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