Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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