Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
