if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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