those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
barbara walters just said penis...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize