guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My vagina is officially offended.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
