He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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