i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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