you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
