bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
