He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
