It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize