i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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